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Monster Media 1996 #14
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Monster Media No. 14 (April 1996) (Monster Media, Inc.).ISO
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letman04.zip
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TT1.27
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1995-01-31
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930b
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32 lines
TOP TEN WAYS THE U.S. OPEN WOULD BE DIFFERENT IF IT WERE
HELD ON THE MOON
10. Guy hits a lob on Tuesday, opponent returns it on Wednesday
9. Announcer keeps saying lame things like "That's one short
volley for man, one giant match point for mankind"
8. In space, no one can hear John McEnroe scream
7. If players argue, umpire cuts off their oxygen
6. Final round: Michael Stich vs. one of them Star Trek dudes
5. Lots of laughs when line judge and his tall chair get knocked
over by a low-flying comet
4. "Sampras has just smashed another blistering 2 mile an hour
serve!"
3. Spectator Rush Limbaugh mistaken for Goodyear Blimp
2. Serve one really hard and it goes all the way around and hits
you in the ass
1. Two words: floatin' trophies
Playout - "Walking On the Moon"
Letterman, Friday, January 27, 1995 Originally broadcast 9/7/94
Copyright Worldwide Pants, Inc. 1995